Raise your hand if you've ever thought: “Nothing makes me happy anymore.”

Or my personal favorite: “I’m doing all the things but still feel like a hot existential pancake.”

Yep, I’ve been there. And chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re somewhere on the “I’m-functioning-but-not-thriving” spectrum too.

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Let’s clear this up first: Happiness isn’t a destination—it’s a mindset.

It’s not Bali, a six-figure job, or marrying your twin flame (though I hope you do).

It’s an internal shift—a choice to stop outsourcing your joy and start generating it from within.

Sounds nice in theory. But if you’re deep in the weeds of millennial depression, burnout, or just stuck on the struggle bus, it’s really freaking hard to feel happy. I know.

I used to be sobbing-uncontrollably-on-the-bathroom-floor depressed. And I’m going to tell you a weird secret: That feeling can become very addicting.

I had to claw my way out of that black hole. I had to force myself to figure it out.

Because no one teaches us how.

Because we think happiness = achievement, approval, or aesthetics.

Because trauma, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or just life hijacked our brains.

Because we’re scrolling for connection but starving for presence.

Because we’re not taught that self-care is for everyone, not just spa-day influencers.

But here’s the hope: you can reclaim your joy. And it starts with small, intentional shifts.

Listen, don’t expect to be radiating joy tomorrow. But with regular practice, you could be exuding perfect peace while the bills pile up and rejection letters flood your inbox. (True story.)

Let’s walk through what’s actually helped me and my community find happiness with ourselves—not once we “arrive,” but now.

Not gonna lie—my journal has seen some things.

But writing things out gets the chaos out of your head and onto paper, where it can’t do as much damage.

This practice rewires your brain to process, release, and witness your emotions with compassion.

I cannot tell you how many times I was in a rage or in a spiral and my emotions were out of control.

I was about to do something rash (like call an ex or send the kind of email that gets a girl fired)!

When I stopped to journal my feelings, I calmed down enough to get back into my logical brain and see the error of my ways (i.e. see how stupid I was being).

“What do I need to let go of to feel lighter?”

Then write like no one’s reading—because they aren’t (unless your cat’s nosy).

Yes, your nightstand counts.

UCLA actually did a study and found that women who lived in more cluttered environments experienced higher cortisol levels (that’s your stress hormone).

That physical clutter creates mental noise. And it often symbolizes failure, pressure, and a brain left running on 20 open tabs.

When we clear our space, our nervous system gets the memo: “Hey, we’re safe. We’re grounded. We’re okay.”

Start small—your junk drawer, your inbox, that pile of clothes from 2013 in the “maybe I’ll wear this again” section of your closet.

You don’t need to run a marathon. But movement moves energy.

It increases dopamine and serotonin, reduces stress, and tells your body: “I’m alive. I’m powerful. I care about me.”

At my highest level of depression and misery, something inside me screamed for fresh air.

That one moment of listening to my body sparked a daily walking routine that changed my life. I became addicted to feeling good every time I got active.

So, dance. Walk. Stretch in your pajamas. Whatever helps you feel like a human being again.

This is about self-love, not self-punishment. Big difference.

I used to think I had to “fill my own cup” before I could help anyone else.

But sometimes? Giving back is the fill-up.

When I needed to do anything other than focus on my own miserable life, I decided to volunteer at the local VA. (I have a soft spot for veterans and old people, what can I say.)

It might be selfish but helping others helped me more than anything I was doing for them.

So, go volunteer. Send a voice note to a friend. Compliment the cashier.

It works because serving others gets us out of our heads and into our hearts.

This Hawaiian practice changed my life.

Repeat these four phrases—with intention—when you’re spiraling in guilt, regret, or self-judgment:

It sounds simple, but this mantra heals old wounds and rewires your relationship with yourself. It’s self-care for your soul.

No lie.

The first few times I repeated those words, it felt mechanical and flat. But after about 9 repetitions, I got into my heart and the energy moved. I was able to release some of the hurts I was holding against myself and really feel into it.

Keep repeating these phrases until the emotion subsides again.

We store trauma in the body. Energy healing modalities like Reiki, breathwork, EFT tapping, or somatic release can help move stuck emotions that words can’t always reach.

You don’t have to be “woo” to benefit. Just willing.

Follow Wim Hof if you want guidance on breathwork and Brad Yates, on YouTube, for help with tapping. You can also check out Episode 4 to learn more about how EFT works if it’s new to you.

Reiki is one of my favorite energy healing methods. I’ve cried, laughed, and finally exhaled doing energy sessions that felt like ten years of therapy in 60 minutes.

You can search for a practitioner near you or you can do it over the phone. And I can give you some recommendations if you’re looking for help there.

It’s easy for your day and your mental health to completely implode when you’re just going through motions every day.

You need to create a plan.

Don’t aim for perfect. Aim for anchoring.

Here’s a simple morning routine for mental health you can try:

Small wins over time add up to big shifts. Trust me.

I am a completely different person than I used to be (from pessimistic to fueled by positivity) and that’s only because of the small actions like these that I took every day.

If you’re reading this and still wondering how to be happy again... know this:

You’re not behind. You’re not too late. You’re not too damaged.

You just forgot how powerful you are.

Happiness isn’t “out there.” It’s been quietly waiting inside you.

All you need to do is look for it.

And don’t forget to join me in The Rewrite for weekly inspo on finding yourself, shifting your mindset, and designing a life you love. Grab your permission slip for a life rewrite below.