Here in Florida, it was a cool 62 degrees when I went out for a walk this morning. And while my heart is true to my northern upbringing, my blood has adapted to my southern residency.

So, like the lizards that populate the sidewalks and set up ankle-rolling traps with each step, I'm freezing in temperatures below 72 degrees.

Unfortunately, I had to drag myself into these brisk temperatures due to a lack of inspiration. 

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I'm supposed to be writing daily about whatever comes to my mind, but the only thing on my brain is that it's time to put aside any excuses and get a job.

Not that I haven't been trying. I've been applying for entry-level positions for over a month now with no success. I've even applied for a few chiropractor positions thinking I could at least fall back on that.

The thing is I've been praying for God to block whatever is not for me along side all of this. I'm pretty over the treachery of working for money-hungry, low-life people. I simply don't have the energy for it anymore.

I'm ready for the life God has planned for me. And I'm starting to think that I'm not thinking big enough...

Between the Dolly Parton documentary and last night's American Idol, a running theme has been slapping me in the face.

Dream big and have the courage to go for it.

Am I playing it safe by applying for these peanut jobs that I don't even really want? And if so, what do I really want?

I keep falling back to thinking I want an online business, but I'm not sure if I am really being honest with myself about that. 

Yeah, I want the freedom that it offers but I also kind of miss people. (This is such a weird admission since I've spent most of my life identifying as a people-hater.) I actually enjoy talking to people in very small settings. (Sometimes. It depends on the person. Don't expect me to carry a conversation!)

The other issue: I am a complete homebody. I will absolutely not leave the house if left to my own accord. Carlos is the only reason I have some semblance of sanity at this point. (But he's also the reason I'm crazy so Idk.)

Maybe a job is exactly what I want and I'm just not thinking big enough. Maybe I'm looking for peanuts when I should be looking for the whole factory...

On the other hand, small business is probably the only place I would thrive. I know that I need to feel fulfilled in what I'm doing in order to be happy and most big corp jobs don't offer that in the hiring package.

I have a reoccurring thought that I should start a podcast.

A collaboration - I'm not much of a talker unless I have someone to give me some back and forth. But I only know one person that wouldn't make me do all the work for it. (And I'm not about that life.)

Maybe Dolly would go for all three.

I don't know what the answer is at this point. But I do think the point is that I need to start thinking bigger.

I said I wanted big things for my life and you don't get those things by playing small. Or doing the bare minimum. Or staying in your comfy cozy box.

It has to scare you a little bit. You have to wonder, "Am I a little bit crazy for going for this?"

I definitely haven't been doing enough of that.

There are a million right paths out there. You just have to pick one, know it's for you, and continue to go after it until you get what you're looking for.

I love Mike Dooley's analogy about "the Universe" (a.k.a. God) being a GPS.

He says you don't need to know much, you just need to know where you want to end up (or how you want to feel at the destination). You tell God where you want to go and He will tell you how to get there. 

The only trouble is you actually have to start moving. He can't get you to your destination if you never move. But if you go, you can't mess up, no matter how many wrong turns you make. You will always be redirected to the right route.

So, maybe I will try a little bit of everything for now and see what sticks!